The Questions Patients Are Nervous to Ask During Menopause
Mar 26, 2026
Have you ever waited months for a doctor’s appointment, blocked off the time on your calendar, only to get there and feel too nervous to ask the question that’s been nagging at you? Maybe you worry it’s silly, or it feels too embarrassing to ask, or—especially if it pertains to menopause—you think “there’s nothing I can even do about it.” (Spoiler: that’s usually not the case.)
We’ve all been there. And while it’s super important to be open and honest with your provider, we know that asking the tough questions is easier said than done. We asked our clinicians what questions they find patients are nervous to ask. Here’s what they said…
1. “Why is it so itchy down there?”
As estrogen levels decrease during menopause, we see reduced lubrication and thinning of the vulvar and vaginal tissue. This can lead to sensations of burning and itching. Unlike other symptoms, vaginal dryness due to menopause doesn’t resolve on its own, but it is highly treatable.
Vaginal estrogen, a type of hormone therapy that supports vaginal tissue elasticity and moisture, is proven especially effective at treating these symptoms. It comes in the form of a cream, tablet, or ring, and since it only works locally, it’s considered a safe option for almost everyone, including women with a history of breast cancer. There are also over-the-counter options like vaginal moisturizers and hyaluronic acid vaginal suppositories.
READ MORE: Elektra’s Guide to Vaginal Changes in Menopause
2. “Is it normal to pee a little when I sneeze or cough?”
Urinary incontinence—which can look like leakage while sneezing or coughing, the uncontrollable or frequent need to urinate, or a mix of both—is very common during menopause.
Why does it happen? In addition to contributing to vaginal dryness, declining estrogen levels can also lead to decreased elasticity in our pelvic floor muscles. Over time, this can manifest as pelvic floor dysfunction, which can include urinary incontinence.
But just because it’s common doesn’t mean we have to accept it as a new way of life. If you’re experiencing incontinence (yes, even if it’s just when you sneeze), consulting with a pelvic floor physical therapist can be a huge help.
READ MORE: 6 Signs of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction in Perimenopause
3. “Will my sex drive ever come back?”
It’s super common for interest in sex to decline during menopause. Decreasing estrogen can impact desire, and vaginal changes can make sex painful and weaken arousal and orgasm. On the other side of the same coin, emotional and behavioral influences of menopause like sleep difficulties, body image issues, and anxiety can also impact how we experience desire.
The good news is, we have plenty of tools at our disposal for managing these changes, including both medication and behavioral strategies.
READ MORE:
- Menopause Libido and Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire: What’s the Connection?
- Elektra’s Take: Testosterone for Menopause
- Is DHEA Good for Menopause Symptoms? What to Know.
4. “Is body odor in menopause normal?”
Hormonal fluctuations can lead to changes in body scent. Plus, if you’re experiencing hot flashes, you’re likely sweating more than usual, which can cause an increase in odor-causing bacteria. We recommend wearing cotton clothing to help with absorption, and drinking lots of water to prevent body secretions from getting too concentrated. And of course, a good stick of deodorant can also go a long way!
5. “Why does someone chewing loudly annoy me so much?”
Feelings of anxiety and irritability are very common during menopause. Your fuse may become ridiculously short, you may be irritable one minute and sad the next, and your partner’s quirks that used to charm you may now drive you up the wall. Like most of the symptoms here, we can thank fluctuating hormone levels. Hot flashes or difficulty sleeping through the night can also make matters worse.
If mood symptoms are menopause-related, they’ll usually subside post-menopause. In the interim, sleep, nutrition, and stress management can make a big difference. If lifestyle changes alone don’t cut it, medication can also be a helpful tool.
READ MORE: Elektra’s Guide to Anxiety in Menopause
6. “I’m eating and exercising the same as before, so why is my body changing shape?”
Weight gain, especially around the midsection, is one of the most common menopausal symptom complaints we hear from midlife women, owed to a number of factors including hormone and metabolism changes, age, and genetics. In other words, yes, body composition changes in menopause are a thing.
Now, you might be wondering, “great, but what can I do about it?” As we mentioned, body changes are normal—our bodies are meant to evolve. But, let’s be real: loving every part of your body can be incredibly difficult. If you find that abdominal weight gain is bothering you, here are some strategies to help.
